overstrain | INBOX

[ rei hasn't been able to sleep properly since her awakening. even with the painkillers, everything aches and is sore and they can't give her any more medicine to help, so she can't stay asleep for too long without her side or back hurting. on top of the physical pain, there are the emotional and mental stressors that she's suffering from, feeling so helpless and useless, reminiscent of a past life. everything keeps her awake and pulled away from the empty comfort of sleep, so she spends most of her time awake, sitting in bed, and staring out the window. she does the same today, up early in the morning and watching the people walking in the hospital courtyard and seeing them enjoying the outdoors. old feelings of bitterness swell up in her chest and when a crow flies through the open window, dropping a familiar rabbit doll on her lap before flying away, she thinks, "i hate this". ]

[ she can't bare to throw away the doll, tossing it out the very window that it came through, even when she stares at the name stitched onto the foot. instead, she just holds it to herself, wrapping one arm around it and goes back to staring outside. she's so jealous... ]

[ Terry had been sleeping in the hospital since the previous day and he wakes up on the chair beside Kido's bed. He doesn't particularly feel well-rested, but he sees that Kido is still asleep and goes over to where Rei is, since she seems to be awake. He goes to take a seat on the edge of her bed. ]

Hi, Rei. How are you feeling this morning?

[ like a mantra, it chants in her head: "i hate this, i hate this, i hate this". it continues even after terry enters the room and sits next to her bed. her left arm is wrapped around the rabbit and her right hand, still in a wrist brace, moves on its own. as she looks at him, her dominant hand, her right, swings out and punches terry right in the stomach. if it connect, it'd probably hurt her more than terry. her fracture is still healing and with terry's absorb heal, this probably is nothing to him. ]

Edited 2019-09-17 23:10 (UTC)

[ It's easy to notice Rei's punch coming in his direction. It would also be easy to dodge it in normal circumstances. But now is not a normal situation. He spent the night at the hospital sleeping on a chair, recently woke up from a nightmare where the three died again, and the expression on Rei's face are all enough to make Terry hesitate and get socked in the gut. He doesn't feel pain physically, but he sits there in confusion and panic as he looks over at her. ]

Rei...? What's wrong? Did something happen? Your arm--

[ a sharp pain seers from her wrist and that's enough to snap her out of her misery. she immediately lets out a pained cry and pulls back her hand, cradling her wrist with her other hand. she holds it, biting down onto her lip to prevent herself from crying again. it throbs and her hand feels completely numb. it's unbelievably painful and she just tries to wait for the moment to pass, but she'll need a few minutes. ]

[ Terry looks over at Rei, cradling her wrist with her other hand and immensely feels bad. He's not sure what to do, but he'll ask her anyway even if she might be mad at him. ]

Rei... do you want me to call the nurse? It looks like it hurts a lot... um...

[ It's not really his fault, but he can't help but to add: ]

I'm sorry.

[ she shakes her head. she doesn't need a nurse because it's not like they can do much about the pain. they're not going to give her any more painkillers and they'd probably just scold her instead so she'd rather not deal with that. she's kind of done with nurses right now... but she also shakes her head because terry shouldn't apologize. he really didn't do anything and in the midst of all the pain, she feels guilty. ]

[ it takes her a few seconds before she can manage to speak, still cradling her wrist and holding it close to her chest. she sniffles a few times in between her words. ]

I-- I'm sorry, T-chan. I-I don't know what came over me...

[ Sometimes you just feel like you gotta punch someone. And that's okay... is what Terry would say, but punching someone on impulse like that got him into a nest death fight with Mondo, so. Yeah. Okay, let's not. ]

It just kinda happened, right? I think I get it. Remember? I told you about it before.

[ He resumes smiling at her. Maybe a smile would help instead of him looking awkward. ]

Do you want to hold my hands, Rei?

[ the smile helps a bit. it does ease a bit of the guilt away, especially when he brings up that time when he also got into a fight that was out of his control. it doesn't make the feeling go away completely, but it is reassuring and it's enough for her to take terry's hands rather than rejecting them. she lets go of her wrist and extends out that hand towards terry. she keeps her right hand still close to her, wrapping an arm around the rabbit so she can hold it as she keeps her hand against her chest. ]

Is neechan okay...?

[ Terry gently takes her hand in his because if he grabs it carelessly, he feels like her hand would break. But he wants to reassure her that he'll be there for her too. ]

... Yeah. She'll be okay. She's pretty upset because she lost some people very precious to her, so I think she will need some space. But I think it'll be nice to chat with her from time to time so that she doesn't feel lonely.

[ it's nice, holding onto his hand. it gives her a bit of comfort and the lack of social contact that she's been missing while stuck in here. she can't wait to go back out, not only because she hates being trapped in a hospital, but also because she desperately misses interacting with others (though she'll then quickly learn that she has suddenly become extremely self-conscious about her appearance and then go to becoming a hikkimori). ]

Oh, I see... [ she's curious about what happened, but she's not insensitive enough to ask about that. it's hard, losing people. ] The nurse won't let me leave my room, but I'll make sure to talk to her a lot when I leave.

[ they won't let her leave because they're paranoid that she's going to just bolt the moment she gets the chance and honestly, they're right. she did promise terry that she'd stay here until she recovers, but it's really tempting to just run out. ]

... are you okay? You look tired.

You're with here with Kido. Mondo too. You won't have to be lonely while you're here, Rei. You won't be alone.

[ Well, Terry too, considering Kido made him stay in the hospital to stay by her side, but Rei, Kido, and Mondo are all in the same room, so it's easy to talk to the other patients too without really leaving.

Can't believe Rei is asking the hard questions in both threads. Double the whammy. Terry can't really lie too much to Rei, but he'll try not to let it be too blunt. ]

It's... been a hard week.

[ But he still manages to smile, even though the corners of his lips don't usually reach the point when he feels genuinely happy, or the strains around his mouth and the way his eyes look so, so tired. But other than that, he looks fine. He's still eating properly, at least. ]

But talking to you makes me feel a lot better, Rei.

[ That isn't a lie. ]

When did you get that doll though? I didn't think I saw it around here before...

[ rei knows a strained smile when she sees one. she's seen those enough to spot them out, especially when she has spent so much time with terry, getting to know what genuine happiness looks to him. however, she doesn't say anything about. people generally have a reason to fake it. instead, her attention is placed on the doll when terry points it out. ]

Oh...

[ she looks down at it, quiet for a second, before pushing it over towards terry with her other hand (which is still sore but manageable now). ]

A crow brought it to me. They put it on my lap and then flew away.

[ it's probably easy enough to assume that the bird stole it, considering the name on the foot is different from rei's and that the crows in this town are quite mischievous. ]

[ Honestly, he would have thought so too, but he's had enough times when crows dropped plenty of things on his head: a heavy duty charger cord that he knew it was his, a blood pack, a medkit, cat grooming gloves that he also knew was his... Crows are freaking weird in this town. Though he does notice the different name on the foot.

...

But Terry also remembers that Rei told him about a stuffed rabbit before... one with a vest and a bow tie. He also thinks back to several days ago when he was talking with her when she asked Terry to call her by her name. At first, he didn't think much about it, but he wonders if it's along the same lines as differentiating names. He can fully understand that too, since he does... a variant of it. ]

Let's put your name on it.

[ as he mentions her name, she can't help but stare at the actual name stitched on the foot. she has the doll rested on her arm but she doesn't touch it further than that nor does she pull it back. she just solemnly and silently bores holes into the rabbit. ]

Maybe on a patch... something to go on top of it?

[ tearing out the stitching sounds like it could be... a pain. ]

Hm...

[ Terry looks at the patch at the rabbit's foot, and tries to think of a way to morph "niko" into "rei", but it doesn't look like it's feasible without a lot of accuracy and work. ]

Yeah, a patch sounds better. Should I go buy some fabric? I'll come back tomorrow and you can sew over the name. How about it?

[ she nods. it might stand out a bit and look slightly out of place, but it's a lot better than having to constantly see her old name. it might cheer her up a bit as well, giving her something to focus on rather than sitting around and just waiting to go home. ]

... oh.

[ but then she remembers her brace. it's not extremely limiting, considering it's just for her wrist, but it's awkward and she can't turn her hand as well with it on. ]

Will the nurse let me sew like this?

[ some are fussy about things like that, but perhaps it's a reasonable concern as it's a fracture and all. ]

[ ... Hm.

Terry considers it. They only let the cats stay because they never gave up on coming inside the building as long as they all got the rabies vaccines. The hospital is so weird, but... ]

If they won't let you, you can teach me step by step. How about that?

[ she nods once more, though slightly more hesitant this time. ]

I don't know if I'll be a good teacher... but I'll try.

[ she would normally sound more pumped about this, but... yeah. ]

You never sewed anything before?

The most sewing I've ever done was poke a hole through a paper crane to put a string through it to make a mobile...

[ So, no. He also doesn't like needles, but that's a story for another day... ]

I usually don't have the patience.

[ she can understand the part about patience. after the nurses showed her how to sew, she only had that patience because there was nothing else for her to do. ]

You've made paper cranes before?

Yeah.

[ He smiles, though a little sad. ]

Before I came here, I helped my doctor friend, Jace, around the hospital like a nurse aide every now and then. But sometimes he sent me to the hospice and I talked with the people there. One of them was a young girl like you, Rei. She liked folding paper cranes... I heard of the legend, but she didn't. But her room was full of paper cranes. It was so hard to walk through them all. I didn't want to crush any. She would also get really sad if they told her to clean up the mess... Wanna know why?

[ ... ]

The hundreds of cranes she made in that hospice room were one big family. She didn't want to separate any of them. That's why she always got upset if even one of the cranes had to be thrown away. She taught me how to fold them because she wanted to make the family even bigger.

[ she looks down when terry mentions the legend about the paper cranes. when he says that this girl considered all those cranes as part of her family, it only reaffirms rei to stare down at the blankets, refusing to look up. this girl didn't want to separate any of them and yet, rei threw every single one out when nothing happened. what a bitter memory. ]

... did she make a thousand of them and try to make a wish?

[ He shakes his head no. ]

I think she got to around three thousand. She didn't make a wish, but before she died, she said that she wanted to be buried with all of them. So they honored that request.

[ It's a story of a lonely little girl who could only find solace in the occasional nurses, her paper cranes, and her overactive imagination. ]

You know... hands can do pretty amazing stuff. The best thing about hands is that they can fix and make things. The girl made herself a family so that she wouldn't be lonely when she passed away. So now, we're going to make your doll here [ he pets the bunny's head ] yours.

[ ... she made a family so she wouldn't be lonely. they buried her with the cranes... ]

M-Mmhm, okay--

[ and just like that, tears spring to rei's eyes. thanks a ton, terry, you're the worst. she's crying in two threads now but for different reasons. she brings her hands to her eyes and tries to wipe them away. ]

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